Friday, May 21, 2010

F&$K you Life, I'm Trying to Read TankGirl!

I have long been a fan of Tank girl and the Work of Jamie Hewlett ever Sense the day I went Rummaging threw a odd pile of comics in a failing book store in Ventura's local mall.

I was just entering middle school and wanted something to read during lunch, not even looking at the cover to open the book at a spread of Tanks , Boobs , penises , bears with Afros and Kangaroo men with guns. ( whats not to like?)

later My dad rented the Tank Girl movie on laser-disc,
Happiness fallowed.... Getting into High school I spent all my lunch money on just comics and Bjork CDs .....busted my self open a fue times trying to read comics and walk home at the same time.
( don't try that)

Collage , my first Comic Con... Guess who my First Cosplay was?


you know you love it ;)


over the years the costume gets less shitty..
Rockets Made by Mike Morales !



(I'm very short..) i have yet to master the Tankgirl Style!


Any who! later I found out there was going to be a NEW Tank Girl drawn by Ashly Wood.
In theory this would be Awesome.
reality the comic was Bullshit! story goes that Tank Girl SELLS HER TANK so its just girl.
everything about that is insanity! also to the art it was drawn like a discarded sketchbook:(

now no bad feeling to Ashly but its hard to go from this-







then to this :P -






now some of you that don't read Tank girl probably think there is nothing wrong here..

The story of Tank girl is there is no real story, its was a comic of "the sky is the limit" plot mixed with detailed art and Wimsey with a NeoPunk mentality.

But now it seems to be a strain of where can i draw someone farting in a very American pie/something about Mary type of way...and the Wimsey...Gone... punk ..gone..





new artist is boring!!! Boring!!

It seem if you want things done "right" ya gotta do it yourself!
a few issues back I decided to send Titan Books My art, it ended up being Published in the back of the Tank Girl: Skid marks 3 of 4 !






It kinda got me thinking ... Maybe I should draw my own Tank Girl Comic and send it in!
now I know I'm no Jamie Hewett but if I can pull off anything coming from sending a Fan Comic then HOLY SHIT I'm DOING IT! XD

I'm going to start story boarding after finishing FU! : Big fat impostor then sending it to Titan Books.. If nothing at lest I tried to save my Fav Comic :)


So far I'm just trying to get Tank girl's look down with Doodles .


hopefully at some point of my life I'll get to draw for all my Fav comics!
YES, indulge my delusions!! Send me suggestions! I am interested in all your opinion as long as they involve you thinking this is a awesome idea! XD


by kempo



P.S. Tank Girl : Apocalypse NEVER HAPPENED! Its was just a nightmare, go back to bed.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Who are you showing your Boobs too?



Welcome to one of my many paranoid assumptions about male Doctors.
Something about having a man looking at me like for instance if i came in for breast exam, Doctors are not robots made to scan heath then return into a box at the end of the day.

Just because a person is medically treated with the best Know-How in the world doesn't mean they don't go home and do the most perverse , creepy shit imaginable.

The weird thing is I'm more uncomfortable with the thought of having to go to the Clinic for a "lady-bit check up" from a straight Male Doctor then a lesbian Doctor with a missing eye.

( for those of you that don't know me I'm a boring Straight Virgin lady )

life is Scarier when you got something you want to keep till after marriage , Plus , I got Trust Issues.. Gonna be honest... But ya got to ask your self ..who are you really showing your junk to?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

FU ! A comic by Kempo

All the Art and story on this page is By Kempo...FACT!!

What your About to read is a Unfinished First color and Panel test of a comic I'll been working on Called "FU", I've been debating wether not to finish this strip as a full comic or not...

Story wise it involves Beating up Carlos Mencia for being a Dick along with Dane Jeffrey Cook to offer to Angry Mexicans that will in return give the main characters free churros ...

It is entitled " FAT IMPOSTER"

I am posting this as input, only you could help me decide if i should finish this strip or not to published into a new Variety Comic book I'm Invalved in Called " Meats On The Bed" along with Sexy Artist Aaron Cornilius , The Elegant Weshoyot Alvitre , and the Bloodthirsty Ryan Genovese.....
















Please leave comments or Email me :)
I bealeve i gave my info on the blogger profile.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Stupid People or am I just a Jerk?

lets start with me,
I'm not what you call a smart, i mean look at my spelling..to me i felt i was below average...
But lately I've been going out of my mind with the yo yo's I've been meeting and encountering..

Couple years ago, I'll never for get it...I went to China Town in .L.A. with some smelly Goomba and every where i went people wouldn't stop asking me how much stuff was...the hole outing was -
"Hay, HAY, HAY!!!Miss, How much is this?"
Me:"I don't work here.."
Them:"well can you get some one that dose?"
Me:"no."

(for those who don't know me, this is what i look like)
(not Chinese looking at all)

Back to the story, while looking in the plaza maze of clothing a TEENAGE CHINESE American boy over heard me getting sick of people asking me for prices and asked me if i was Chinese..I said no..I am mixed..when he asked me of what mix, i told him Korean/Mexican/Irish/Mongolian...

then what he said blew my mind...

"ooh..Whats a Mongolian?"

0-0 <-----me... he staired at me like a dead fish with is mouth open..
I said "are you kidding?"...."Its a person from Mongolia..."

HOW THE HELL DID HE NOT KNOW THAT ????!!! ITS THE FIRST THING YOU LERN IN WORLD HISTORY !!! THIS KID LOOKED LIKE HE WAS 19 OR 18.. you'd think if he didn't learn that in school he'd have some knowledge from the Chinese Mooncake festival or seen Mulan or something...THE GREAT WALL WASN'T JUST A RAINY DAY ACTIVITY!


Honestly that's not that bad i had people ask me what part of Japan Korea was in :P or , when i went to Mexico if i saw any flamenco dancers:P ( thats Spanish)

I know its not that bad but after a while small things start to get at ya..
Not to long ago i went to some Skater store for a Application .. there was some Filter feeding man wondering around the store in a willy nilly fashion..

he came up to me and said "HIIiiiii!"

Me:"hi"

Him"can i help you with anything?"

Me: "ooh! you work here...."

Him: "mmmmm..hmm.."

I ask straight out "are you Hiring?"

he says"No, but we're looking for some new girls to work here.."

I say" so you are Hiring at some point?"

He says:"no....but we need some girls to help sell the girls clothes we just started carrying"

me:"then you won't be taking Applications?"

Him" Shour! I'll get you a Application!"

By now I'm thinking this man isn't all there..before he hands me the Application he talks to me about how there store is looking for young lady's to try and sell this new ski stuff and that the guys that work there don't know how to go about telling girls why they need it..

So i say "right ..ya need some one to speak the language eh? (fake laff)"

as soon as i said that his face drops ...
i Kidd you not ...he said-"WOW...you know how to speak another language....???"

0.0 <----(me)

he staired at me with is eyes unfocused and astonished... Me:"ya shour....why not..."


When did people get like this?!....mite be drugs...maybe there's a idiot magnet taped to my back...But am i the only one that notestes things like this??!

The list of story's goes on! my nephew told me he likes Batman ..
i asked "what comic book version do you like?"

he asked "they made a comic book about him??"

but hes a kid i can't get mad at him, i just don't know how my sister hasn't clear stuff up like that..aaaaaaaaaa!! i worry hes going to get beat up at school !!

I met a man in a bar..told me he was a film student for 3 years and then i find out he dosn't know what "singing in the rain " was or what a Musical means!!
I told him i am a Comic book artist and that i was working on a series and novel ..

he asked if i ment a "real novel " or a " manga" ..

I asked " what do you mean by real novel?"

he said " is there writing in it or is it from the "anime Univeres"??"

Me:"What??"

he just repeted louder in the phone...

Me:" i heard you ..i just don't know what your talking about ...its a stand alone , Graphic novel....like American born Chinese..or ..Heno Horror...in the fact that its a thick book.. "

Him: " its okay, you just don't understand"

me: " what am i not understanding?"

him:" is it a story or is it in the anime Universe?"

Me:" its my story if thats what your asking .. what anime Universe are you talking about?? like a spin-off?"

ya....that went on for a bit intill my AWSOME AWSOMe Freind DOUG called and saved me from talking to bucket head.


I have to say i am very gratful for my freind Doug and Nathan , Kara and Tim and otheres ...cuz with out them i'd bee so bloody depressed about every one in the world that i would rise Vincent Price from the grave to narrate my distroction of earth when i create a moster made up of fran drescher's head john goodmen's body and Gary Busey's brain .... The reson of writing this blog is in the hope that you in the internet world would shair with me there "Idiocracy" like moments.. in hopes that there are othere poeple that notes these things too...


Myspace posts below :


lullaby
douglas pasz

OOOHHH i got one...i forgot to mentioni t last night! so this jerk from the gym who i try my best to avoid sees me in the grocery store.
and asks me what i'm doing for
halloween.

.

.

.

dude...i'm 35. i'm doing what any GROWN UP does...i'm egging my nieghbors house.


then he tells me -against my will- that he and his "buddies" are going at the "lost boys" but "as like a 2008 version"

didn't the lost boys just were leather jackets and black jeans? and how do you make it a 2008 version? and why tell me? and what kind of grown man dresses up like COREY FELDMAN?




Kempo

thats better then the chicks that have to wear "sexy" costumes even when there horrably over waight or pragnet...why?..and its always things at shouldn't be sexy like a "sexy carrot" or "sexy holocaust victim" ...
worst are people that dress as minority's .... i went to the halloween store and saw a costume in titled "MEXICAN" and "ASIAN WOMAN" with white people on it with booze and guns in there hands or a giant samurai sword....

I made this woman feel really bad while she was trying on the "Asian woman" comstume..

i said to my freind that i was with " shit!! what is up with this?? ya know minority's are people too there not some horrabul monster that you dress up as on hollwoeen...crap I'm going to dress like a White lady for halloween.."

every one in the store turned there head..

Me: "look at me I'm a pritty white lady, i'm exspendable by cosiety ..i love hamburger helper."

my freind started cracking up ..but the lady looked so imbarrist she just kinda let the costume slide off her over her cloths..

i don't know maybe i'm just a jerk..


Adam S. Leslie

No, I think you have a good point. Wow, y'all's racial discrimination laws sound a little lax over there, I can't imagine anyone here ever getting away with hiring out racial minority Halloween costumes, especially one which depicts a minority in the context of booze and guns! A black (mixed-race) friend of mine dressed up as an Indian lady in a sari, but that was very tasteful and respectful, she looked very convincing.




★POOP★

OOOH shit little Nacho. I have tons of those stories. But you were there for most of them.


And thats some pretty stupid horse-shit brained Chinese kid that doesn't know about the Mongolians. I mean, his ancestors only gave up their lives to keep the Mongols out of their culture by building a great big fucking wall (that you can see from outer space mind you) to keep them out.


But I do have one stupid moment that i'm guilty of: "Hey thats mine!!"

Good times little Nach, good times.


Kempo

no that was funny, i think the stupid thing that happend with us was when we crashed our bikes into each other and had a man run up to us and say "I SAW EVERYTHING! WHAT HAPPEND??"

hahaha...or when you went up to Eric Mckee and rubed chalk on his shert during art class as a joke..cuz chalk brushes off...but he blew up at you and said " What the F--ck?! , you bitch!! this shert cost more then your education!!!" then i said " What are you talking about Eric you go to the same school as us and its free enrolment!"

good times..

Adam S. Leslie

Texans have it bad. Some kids - and not tiny little kids either - asked me, after spending the afternoon in my company, what state I was from. My other half has been asked what language they speak in England, and people seem surprised when they find out we have things like electricity.


That said, the British can be stupid too. I spent years working in shops and in a theatre box office, so I know all about that! I woman rang up when I was at the box office to complain that he friend had bought tickets through her work and that they were cheaper than the tickets she had bought from us. I spent ages explaining that her friend's job had put their own money towards the tickets so that their employees could by them cheaper, and that it was nothing to do with us and that they could do what they liked once they owned the tickets. When I finished explaining all this very carefully, she yelled, "I think that's a disgusting policy!" So I hung up.


The theatre was showing a version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. A concerned mother rang up to ask if we were using real bears.
I have loads and loads of example of people asking stupid questions when I was at the theatre - including someone asking the girl sitting behind the counter at a computer wearing the theatre uniform if she worked there!

I once booked a taxi to the bus station to catch a late night but. I waited and waited, and after about 20 minutes I rang to cancel the taxi because I had missed my bus. "There wasn't much point in me booking it then, was there?" said the guy on the phone angrily. "There would have been if it had bothered to turn up," I said, and hung up.


Our local vicar once asked me if a script I'd written was comedy or tragedy. I looked at him puzzled and said, "it's science fiction".


Also when I was at the theatre - and this would happen quite often - people would need to go away from the phone to get a pen or their credit card or something, but not say when they'd come back. They'd just arrive back at the phone and put it to their ear. Sometimes we'd wait for five or ten minutes, it would never occur to them to say, "hello, I'm back". I'd eventually venture, "hello?" And they'd seem surprised and say, "Oh, I was waiting for you!" To do what? You were the ones who went away to get something. I also hated the people who would read their 16-digit credit card number one digit at a time and wait for me to confirm each time.
You don't need me to tell you when I've managed to type in a number four!

A guy I worked with was well-known for making stupid statements. He once said, "I don't believe in learning first aid, because what if someone doesn't want their life saving?" He was asked to donate some cash towards a local youth club but refused because, "I believe charity begins at home". Don't use that as an excuse if you don't know what it means! A local youth club is "at home", that's what it means you chump. It doesn't mean that you only give money to your family.


Kempo

hahahahaah...my fav is the lady asking about live Bears for Childens Theater..

Me Mum once told me of her Great consern of me going to a bar with freinds because " It was too dangerous with all the Wild animals out at night ...What if a bear gets you??!!...ya know people sometimes just let there pets wonder around!!"

Who's has a Bloody pet bear!!?? and why would some one let it in a Bar??!!

my mum was histarical about it in almost tears say " you never know.."


but this is coming from a woman that put a fake flower i was given in a vase full of water...

★POOP★

I have one for you of the Asian persuasion. And this just happened not even 5 minutes ago.


You know I work at that ridiculous school. My boss (Ricardo)is the Dean of Students, which is a just above principal level here. He is teasing one of the Asian students, he keeps calling him ‘Sexy Jerry’ and telling him to sing. Jerry says he doesn’t want to but Ricardo says, you're in choir right? SING. Sing something by Rain. And jerry says: I cant. Ricardo says, but isn’t he the best singer in Asia?? And Jerry says yes. Ricardo says: WELL SING!! Jerry says, 'But he sings Korean'. Ricardo says: SO?? And Jerry says 'I cant sing Korean' so Ricardo gave him a detention.




This kid comes from Taiwan.




And still, Ricardo keeps messing with this kid. Right now he's calling him ‘sexy jerry’.
‘sexy jerry, who won the election?? Hey, sexy jerry! SEXY JERRY!!!Sexy jerry, who’s president??’



And on top of all this the poor kid got a detention.


He looks like he's going to cry.

Bruno Galan

Ha ha, what you said about someone asking you in what part of Japan Korea was reminded me of something that happens to me often... Me: "I'm half-Spanish." Other person: "Really? Funny you look completely white!" Me: "Spain is in EUROPE, I am not Latino! Of course I look white! One of my Spanish friends has blonde hair and blue eyes! Spain is right next to France!" Other Person (trying to save face but only making it worse): "Yeah but someone Spanish is someone who speaks Spanish right? That includes Latinos..." Me: "No it doesn't!" >.

Kempo
I was looking for "rocker arms" for my BF's car Online and I came across some Auto parts store in Oxnard.. (next town over from me) i thought "oooh! awsome maybe this could be a quick fix"